May '05: A typewriter will never
replace a warm body--
Henry Miller

June '05: you know when they stop
laughing at the jokes that the
relationship is doomed

July '05: Why get married? Just find a
woman you hate and buy her a house"
--Rod Stewart

August '05:  A kind word and a gun
will get you a lot further than a kind
word alone--
Al Capone

Sept '05: you whose mother never
said no--
Lebanese insult

Oct '05: that which is too dumb
to be spoken is sung

Dec '05: you can write a book in
a month. But a decent sentence is the
work of a lifetime

Jan '06: a woman asked me why I
drink. I said: I drink for 3 reasons.
When something good happens--
to celebrate. When something
bad happens--to forget. And
when nothing happens--to make
something happen-
-charles bukowski

Feb '06: people seldom read a
book given to them by others--
samuel johnson

march '06:  a womans body is the
closest we will ever come to paradise--
albert camus

april 06: there are two offers you
should never refuse: to have sex and
to appear on television-
-david brown,

may 06: youre not a slob, Jack. Youre
just dirty
--Heidi Stromberg (friend of Jack

June 06: sex is over rated. Its much
less important than defecation. You
can live a lifetime without sex but two
weeks without a bowel movement will
kill you--
Sir William Osler (physician)

july 06: there is a fine line between
genuis and insanity. I have erased
this line-
-oscar levant

aug 06: sportswriter: you made
$100,000 last year--twice the salary
of the president of the U.S. How do
you justify this income?

Babe Ruth: I had a better year.

sept 06: insomnia means you arent
working hard enough
--ann spiegelman

oct 06: I put into my  paintings the
colors i like. I leave it for the colors to
get along with each  other--

nov 06: how dirty the toilet depends
on  how bad you have to poop-

dec 06: a milestone has been reached
w when 51% of the people on the obit
page are younger than you-
-hl mencken

jan 07:  people are irritating. And no
one is more irritating than a family
-frederica wyatt

feb 07: most writers dont know how
to write-
-harold ross( founder and editor
of the new yorker

march 07: 90% of human behaviour is
motivated by the desire to appear on
--kenneth tynan

april 07: I am going to--or I am about
to--die. Either expresseion is correct--
last words of jacques poussin, 18th century
french grammarrian

may 07: before you can be great you
have to be good-
-truman capote

june 07: sonny liston, asked by a reporter
why he chose  not to participate in a
freedom march down south and sonny
because my ass aint dog proof

july 07: "charm is more appreciated
than wit"
--em forster (a passsage to india)

august 07: "I am a great writer.
Where are the great readers?"

sept 07: "a woman is particular about
her lovers--but she will marry anyone"
--Mark Twain

oct 07: "When you don’t have money
the problem is food. When you have
money its sex. When you have both its
health. You worry about cancer or
your dick falling off. If everything is
jake you obsess about death.  Its
always something".--
JP Donleavy

nov 07: "nothing good can come from
don shula, football coach

dec 07: "dying is easy; comedy is hard"
--last words of James Quinn, actor

jan 08: "the sentence is my passion"--
gertrude stein

feb 08: "its a sort of a disease when
you consider yourself some kind of
God, the creator of everything, but I
feel comfortable about it now since I
began to live it out"-
- George Soros
(super investor)

march 08: "Some people have in them
more jesus than hitler and some have
more hitler than jesus but we all have
a little of both--

april 08: "Im a seven ulcer guy in a
one ulcer job"--
harry truman--as vice

may 08: "If, if, if. If my aunt had balls
she'd be my uncle"
--Vince Takas

june 08: "dont get between a Korean
and an early tee time"

july 08: "give me a guy with big
hands, a big ass and no brain and I
will make a golfer out of him."
Walter Hagen

august 08: "I get tired of parents  
telling me how smart their kids are.
Smart is a dime a dozen. What counts
for me in a person is character

sept 08: hollywood is where all the
assholes go for the finals
--Ben Hecht,

oct 08: Confidence is the key for
a trader. My job is simple. I wait until
I see some money lying in a corner
and I go over and pick it up
Rogers, commodities trader

nov 08: I fear curing the human being
lest I lose the writer
--Eric Strauss,
psychiatrist, treating Graham Greene for

dec 08: So-Na, former student, asked who
is her favorite actor and she says:
you are

jan 09: there are two things in this
world: bread and balls
--Benito Mussilini

feb 09: Its easier to be nice when you
have money
--Gary Cooper

march 09: writing is the reader
reading--turning the page. If you can
do that youre a writer-
Mitchell (author of
Gone With the Wind)

april 09: "All writing—or 90%--is
about sex."
--Anthony Burgess

may 09: an architect is someone who
goes to the bathroom to take a poop,
wipes his ass and doesnt get anything
on the toiletpaper
--phillip johnson

june 09: I dont get ulcers--i give
-tommy lasorda

everyone should be allowed to go
crazy in their own way--russian

when you walk up five flights of stairs
at three in the morning there is
definitely a hooker involved--

clothes make the man. naked people
have little or no influence on society--
mark twain

michael debakeys advice to a young
surgeon: rule #1: make sure you have
the right patient

I would rather live in collective misery
in hungary than individual misery in
the united states
--george soros father

a dictator is someone who can deport
100,000 refugees withougt blinking
an eye but if his daughter develops an
earache he falls apart--
frederica wyatt

if there is an afterlife i want to come
back as a dog so my wife will love me
--oscar de la renta

you dont age while eating a good
meal--italian proverb

history will treat me kindly--I intend
to write it
--winston churchill

its important to go from failure to
failure with enthusiasm

being wrong is acceptable--staying
wrong is unacceptable
--mark minervini,

education is overrated. who do you
want behind you when the bullets are
flying. Thats the question
hans von luck, tank commander in North
Africa, 1942

april '11: you only need two
characters--a him and her

may '11: youre a hard case sarge. do
you ever get lonely?

only around people--
sean penn character
in the thin red line

sept '11: money makes women horny--
lloyd price

august '11: we enter this world and
leave it the same way--a messy way
william carlos williams, physician and poet

october '11: it doesnt take a great
prosecutor to convict a guilty man. It
takes a great prosecutor to convict an
innocent man
--overheard outside the
DA's office, Los Angeles

"november '11: In New York they
speak of the rent, in Washington they
speak of the job, and in Los Angeles
its the quest for representation"
--Mike Mendola, screenwriter

december '11: I've had four heart by-
pass surgeries. One for each food
--rick majerus--basketball coach

jan '12: history is made by bullshit
--Lenny Bruce, comedian,

Feb '12: we are not here to be happy.
we are here to reproduce--


March '12: James Jones, who wrote From
Here to Eternity
, spent  many happy hours,
maybe his happiest hours, inside a bar. But he
had a bad heart and  at some point was
obliged to give up the sauce. At the end, in
the hospital dying, with his wife there and she
says, can I get you anything, he said:
a martini.

April 2012: I'm  not saying he's pale
and thin, but the maid at the hotel
pulled back the sheets and remade
the bed without realising he was still
in it.
--Branch Rickey, general manager of
the Brooklyn Dodgers, discussing a
scouting prospec

May 2012: He couldn’t find his ass
with both hands.
—description of college professor, brilliant
but with zero common sense,  from the
Humboldts Gift by Saul Bellow

june 2012: love is the only subject--
Anatole Broyard

July 2012: Umberto 1, King of Italy, to his
son Victor Emmanual iii:
to be king you
must know three things: how to sign
your name, how to read a newspaper,
and how to mount a horse"

Aug 2012: There is a time when panic
is the appropriate response"
Kleiner, venture capitalist

Sept 2012: "In business there is no
such thing as a guilty conscience"--

Oct 2012: "When you’re 16 you have
to take three rights to make a left".
--Mila Jovovich, actress, married at 16 for
two week
thoughts for the month
girl in a chair
by picasso
gertrude stein
painting by picasso
god (aka george soros)